On top alone

and I am sick of being alone
and I don’t want to be a genius
I would rather be happy and blissfully ignorant
Rather than knowing I will play solitaire forever

I never wanted to have those gifts
Whom am I kidding when younger all I did was push
The quest to climb the mountain consumed me

Now on the top I stand
to find that other mountains are in far away land
to climb them I must first climb down

buzz

There is a buzz in my ears, I know I am drunk again
I have fallen back to the oldest panacea for a man’s pain
My beer is cold and my snacks are spicy
My attention is short but this TV game is dicy

Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Clap along if you feel like happiness will never belong to you
I know I am a bad boy, and I know I am very good when I am truly bad
This is just the melancholic side of me when I am really sad

I am a mediocre poet and poetry wont pay
I am a good engineer and damn it pays enough for me to afford the beer
This comfort this pampered existence and I wonder
How many poems were lost because I did not torture myself enough

I would never have the courage to blow the whistles
I would never be the one to stand up for the truth
I may never be Hammering Hank Aaron
I will never be the one to point to the stands like Babe Ruth

Still there is a buzz in my ears
And I hope it stays
But we know it wont
As the day and our existence fades away

jd

 

Loving from a distance

There are days I want to kill myself
Out of boredom and sheer laziness
Until I have to remind itself
I know I have failed it before

I still have my sentence to suffer
My mind wanders but my feet are rubber
This mood shall pass We will laugh some more
Some other time when we stop keeping score

I have to wait I have to bide my time
And pass these moments in writing inane rhymes
It was a good thing to be your father Some day I will say
Until that I hopefully pray

Some day you will grow up
Some day I will grow less
These nights are but the harbingers of them all
Big dreams of daddies of boys small